just a quick update:
I have not tried the direct connection yet as I have some vm's in use on the equallogic.
But....
I have stopped starwind and installed the microsoft iscsi target and tested that out. Still no better so this is def not a software san issue.
I updated the onboard broadcom nics and they have jumbo frames now. So set up them to be used istead of intel card. Again no luck.
this is just bizarre. The next things to rule out are the switches......
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